Bernie is like our town crier, always informing us of things we might find interesting related to the arts, particularly theater. When I got the e-mail from him about a photo shoot for POZ magazine's 10th Anniversary cover - especially the part about being nude in front of the camera of Spencer Tunick - I knew this was something that I wanted to be a part of. So, I temporarily released my body image issues and made my way down to the meatpacking district early that cold Saturday morning.
And it wasn't bad at all! I was really comfortable being nude, even though that pose was uncomfortable as hell. Maybe that's why I'm not looking at the camera like everybody else ... maybe *snickers* ... Even though it doesn't look like it, I kinda felt sexy without being aroused at all. I just kept remembering Aunt Sarah's dying words in Rosewood: "Don't let 'em surround you!" Well, not really, but if I focused on Ron, it might have been harder, er, more difficult! *LOL!* And Spencer was so sweet! When I took my hair out, he came up to me and said "We love your hair. You must be up front." He took me by the hand and lead me front and center.
me with Spencer Tunick and fellow model/photographer Ron Singleton
Since then, news of this cover shoot has been on the Internet, in newspapers and on television - and now this issue should be on newsstands. A couple of surprised friends have called me with interest and congratulations, with various levels of discomfort, but that's okay. At the least, it's created a conversation, but mostly I used this opportunity to represent to shed a lot of the shame of being HIV positive, being gay, being a freak and still being beautiful. I am all of that, relentlessly, and now it's even more apparent.
This photo is one of many that I-20 Gallery will be presenting in an installation of Spencer's work from May 8 - June 19. That way, you can look up close for all the juicy details! If not, pick up a copy of POZ. It's an interesting issue, even though they didn't include the feedback they ask me for. I can see why they didn't - they chose to focus on the feel-good, Eden-esque aspects of the shoot. I don't have that problem, so I'll just include my feedback here. Enjoy!
From: donald@anzidesign.com
Subject: Re: POZ Wants Your Feedback!
Date: March 15, 2004 7:49:34 PM EST
To: Nicholas R. Burns <NickB@poz.com>Hey Nick, this is Donald, the Black guy with the long curly brown locks. I hope this letter finds you in sound mind and in good health.
Out of about a hundred guys, I think I counted six Black men, only one Black woman and a sprinkling of other people of color. And we're in New York City, where I've been a community activist in the Black gay community for almost a decade. I was a little dismayed to have recognized only one other person. That's why I came out - to represent.
Spencer (who I believe is white) was into really into my hair, as will probably be evidenced in the photos you choose to publish. He gently took me by the hand and said "We love your hair." while leading me to the front of the shoot where he had also positioned most of the other Black men. Could we use this as a metaphor for the mainstream gay community's engagement of the Black gay community in this continuing crisis of HIV/AIDS? Unfortunately, I don't think so. I hope we can, one day ...
Thank you for this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.
Donald Andrew Agarrat
P.S. If you choose to publish my feedback, please do so using my full name.
Donald, glad I could assist.
Since when do you have “body image issues”? HA! The pics came out even better than I thought. Congrats, you freaky devil. You fukkin rawk!
One word sums up this entire experience - and your look - beautiful!